I can’t even believe I am already writing this post, my baby is ONE!

I have dreamed of this moment for years, and it has always seemed so far away.

The last year had flown by, but it has also encompassed so much physical, emotional and mental change that it seems like it’s been a lifetime.

The beginning of my postpartum journey was really challenging, (for reasons I have yet to discuss publicly) and it was super lonely. I was moving through so much as a new mom, caring for my brand new baby with virtually no support expect for my sweet Husband, that had to go back to work at 4 weeks. Luckily, I met some incredible Mama friends with babes the same age as Bodhi and they have offered me an immense amount of support over the last 12 months.

Becoming Bodhi’s Mama has been the absolute best gift ever, and by far the most incredible thing my Husband and I have ever done.

Watching him grow, explore, and view the world with wonder and excitement is something I will never get over.

I know many Moms say that having a baby is the biggest blessing, but it honestly has been. Over the last year (and even the 10 months I was pregnant before that) I have been able to see myself in a new light. I have been able to shed layers, people, and things that simply no longer serve me. I have been able to get rid of body image issues I had for 20 years, and finally see my body for the incredible, beautiful, and resilient thing that it is. I have been able to shift my mentality from work-work-work and do-do-do to be-be-be.

Thanks to Bodhi life now is all about BE-ing more, and DO-ing less.

Putting my phone down, canceling meetings and working less so that I can be fully present for my family.

It’s been a beautiful journey - albeit there were lots of tears and lessons - it has been beautiful.

Thank you B for choosing me to be your Mama.

{written a few days after Hurricane Ian rocked our Southwest Florida community}

Tonight as I fed my son and put him to sleep tears streamed down my face.

Uncontrolled.

I could no longer contain all the emotions that have been inside of me the past few weeks.

Utter overwhelm.

The emotions of the last two weeks prepping for the hurricane, riding out the hurricane with no contact to the outside world, and then dealing with the mass destruction to our city. Witnessing everything that was lost and the destruction really hit me.

Perhaps it’s because I’m a Mother now, or maybe it’s because I know so many parents who literally had to swim out of their homes with their children, or perhaps it’s because I’m an empath and I feel so deeply. Whatever it is, I could no longer hold back the emotions.

I was strong during the hurricane, making sure Bodhi’s days went on as normal as possible and aware of my energy so as not to transfer it onto him. In the days since the hurricane Bodhi, Ricky and I have collected thousands of dollars in monetary donations (which we have distributed as gift cards), baby items, pet items and other essentials and have driven across Southwest Florida directly distributing them directly to families in need.

This work has been incredible, extremely soul filling and is something I am proud to have Bodhi be apart of.

However, witnessing the devastation first hand has been traumatic.

But we will continue.

People need help, and if we can help in some small way and make their day or week a little brighter than its worth it.

The tears continued to stream down my face.

I snuggled my son a little bit tighter. Breathing in his sweet infant smell, resting my cheek onto his, and feeling our breaths sync together rhythmically almost becoming one.

I held onto this moment a bit longer tonight, pausing, and simply understanding that this moment right here is all that matters.

Material objects can be replaced, homes can be rebuilt, and I recognize that I can’t control anything out there; but right here in this perfect moment snuggling my son’s warm body into mine is all I need.